Dear Blog, I've Missed You

Dear Blog,

I've missed you.  Things got a little crazy right before Thanksgiving and I've been working on finding a new normal.  A new normal where my best friend's mom resides in heaven instead of in a nursing home bed.  A new normal where cancer is a chronic disease.  And where I am at peace with all of it.

Am I?  Not really.  It's not fair.  None of it is.  Shawn says I have a skewed version of fair because I have been lucky in life.  He's right.  But it's still not fair.

But I am choosing to be okay with it.  What else is there to do?

Donna is in a better place.  I can't even imagine to go from what she had become to a place where all is healed and she is free of all of her earthly torment.

Mom is here with us.  Sick, but still here.  She starts treatment today.  And just like I've been saying, it's like the bad news gets chipped away little by little.  It's still bad.   But it's liveable.  And LIFE is what it's all about.

We thought Lilah broke her nose.  She didn't, but it looked like this is still quite noticeably bruised.

It snowed a lot.  The kids had a ball in it.

Thanksgiving and my birthday came and went and now we have five days until Christmas.

And I feel so blessed.

So blessed to have known Donna and basked in the light she gave off when she was well.

So blessed to have my Mom and medical science keeping her here with us.

So blessed to have my babies healthy and so very excited for Christmas.

So blessed to have married my high school sweetheart and to have my best friend also be my first and only love. 

So very blessed to have amazing friends and a wonderfully supportive family.

We took a Christmas tree and some baking items to a family from church.  That's what they wanted for Christmas.   It was almost too much for me to handle.  Their house was very bare.  Both the mother and one of the children underwent major surgery this past year.  They have had it really rough.  We were able to go back and take gifts as well.  They didn't ask for the gifts, but they needed them.

It can always be worse.  Choosing to be positive once I have grieved is a wonderful trait my mother passed down to me.  I hope to pass it on to my own babies.

I promise to check in more.  I didn't know how to write all of this down.  Now that I have, I can move forward and post the pictures of my beautiful children that our wonderful photographer captured.  And snow pictures, Santa pictures and the Christmas pictures that I will have soon.  I cannot wait to see their faces on Christmas.  They are so genuinely excited and they so innocently believe.

The Christmas Eve skit is going to be out. of. this. world.  The kids are going to be mice with two of their cousins.  Shawn's Aunt has dubbed them "the rat pack."  There will be a real baby Jesus!  And Shawn's Uncle will make an appearance as Santa Claus.  He will bless the baby Jesus in silence.  The kids in that church are going to LOOSE THEIR MINDS.

Thanks for giving me a place to share.

Love,
Maria