Chores

I always said my kids would have chores as early as possible. I think it's important for kids of both genders to learn to do things like dishes, laundry, making beds, etc. Brian is my dream child. He LOVES chores and has started doing them WAY earlier than I ever could have imagined. He dutifully stands in front of the dryer when I'm doing laundry and takes each piece of clothing (out of the washer) from me, carefully placing each item into the dryer. He enjoys this so much that I actually commented to Shawn that I feel guilty when I do laundry WITHOUT Brian.

Some chores are easier to complete without Brian. When the dishwasher is open he comes running from where ever he is to "help." He doesn't care if the dishes are dirty or not. He wants to empty it all the time. He broke a bowl recently while "helping." No worries, just part of the learning process, right?

And then there is sweeping the floor. We have mostly hard wood flooring, so I use the broom a lot. Brian loves this chore so much, that we bought him a child size broom to use alongside me. Unfortunately, he wacked himself in the eye the first night we had it, so Brian's broom has been hidden for the time being and I now sweep while he naps.

The child will even "help" clean bathrooms. I give him a rag and he "cleans" the base of the sink and toilet. He cracks me up! I remember our niece Renie used to like to help with this chore, too!

The dishes, however, are by FAR Brian's favorite chore. Probably due to the running water and the fact that I let him STAND on a chair when he "helps" with this. (He's usually told to SIT DOWN when on our kitchen chairs.) Here are some pictures of Brian and I washing dishes tonight.




And here is a picture of the melt down we face once the dishes are done.

16 Month Pictures

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Brian enjoyed both of our Thanksgiving celebrations. Yesterday he played with his cousin Abby at Aunt Bibber's house. He ate, cheeseball on crackers, turkey, stuffing, mac-n-cheese, part of a roll, chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin pie. Today we celebrated at Nana and Pappy's house where Brian ate stuffing, a roll, some turkey, chocolate cake, a turkey cut out cookie and cinnamon bread. I normally would not list all of the foods, but if you recall our struggles with foods this is AMAZING news! Brian has really expanded his dining over the past couple of weeks. He even tried sushi last weekend! We've also caught him not one, but three times, reaching up high to pull cinnamon bread off the counter and then sitting on the floor to eat it. You can tell it too. His legs and face are starting to fill out once again :)

In case you want to catch up on Brian's last month, here are his 16 month pictures. Enjoy!

What I Am Thankful For

Thanksgiving Prep

Last year for our Thanksgiving place cards, Brian made hand print turkeys. At 5 months, it was quite a challenge to paint his little hand and keep his fingers from balling up long enough to press his hand print onto the cards. I enlisted Lauren's help and we got the job done by placing Brian in his bebe pod in only a diaper. With the chaos that ensued, we didn't get any pictures, but here's a picture of what Brian looked like on Thanksgiving last year.


Incidentally, we declared Thanksgiving the day of "first food" for Brian, so he had just had his first cereal in this picture. Hence the furrowed brow and "what the hell are you doing, mom" look.

This year I decided to attempt the turkeys again. However, due to a budding sense of I WILL DO IT MYSELF, the turkeys quickly became Brian's original artworks. This child is Mr. Independent. He grabbed the brush from my hand and insisted on painting the cards himself. I was amazed to see that he knew HOW to paint. He knew how to get color onto the brush. He even knew how to put the brush in the cup of water to clean it off. He's never painted before this week. I don't think he's even seen anyone paint! Needless to say, we won't have hand print turkeys this year. But we certainly have had fun making place cards!


And yes, please note that my child is now sitting in a BOOSTER SEAT. He is also FEEDING HIMSELF most of the time, is down to one (TWO HOUR) nap each day, and is sleeping through the night almost every night. WOW! He is 17 months old today...16 month pictures will go up soon hopefully. Hard to believe.

A Flock of Flamingos

As you probably remember, my Mom's gift to Shawn on his thirtieth Birthday was a singing pirate. My gift was a little bit different, but equally as fun! Brian quite enjoyed it. Thanks Mom and Dad :)

My Son, the Lush

This is an old picture, but the friend who took it just got around to sending it to me. Great, right?

Will I Ever Stop Worrying?

The post that follows is more raw than any I have posted before. I apologize in advance for the honesty. I absolutely have to tap this out tonight. Please feel free to skip it entirely. It's not a happy post.

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I was talking to God as I often do. I guess it's my way of praying. I have kind of a one sided conversation in my head with God. Our conversation was mostly about Brian, as it often is, and specifically about his hearing loss.

I worry about his hearing loss constantly. I know it's not healthy. I try to forget. To push the worry aside. But I can't. I am constantly doubting whether or not we have made the right decision not to aide him. Every time he speaks, or jabbers, I wonder if he's on track with other children his age. I worry about his next hearing test. And the one after that. And so on. I wonder if his loss will get worse.

The worry isn't always in the forefront of my mind. There are many minutes and hours that I don't think about it at all. There are instances where I don't even realize I am worrying, and suddenly it hits me. And then there are times when I feel like the worry is constricting every muscle in my body and has taken over every cell. That all consuming worry is the worst. It's the kind that keeps me up at night. The kind that makes me wish I wasn't the type of person who worries!

In my conversation with God last night, I realized that I have actually accepted Brian's hearing loss. For the first time, I realized, I wasn't asking God for a miracle. I know now that Brian will always have a hearing loss. Instead I have moved on to asking God to just keep his hearing where it is. And to help guide us in the decisions we are making for him. And to help me stop worrying. I really do want to stop worrying.

Then I started to think about how incredibly angry I am about Brian's hearing loss. It's so unfair that this could have been prevented. That every issue he has faced could have been prevented. It's so unfair that the doctor who could have prevented all of this is still practicing, and will continue to practice. Shawn says I have to get over my view of what is fair and unfair. I know it's not right to dwell on it. But it's hard to do. Especially when it could have been prevented. And especially because just when I think I'm over the guilt of feeling like I should have known to demand a c-section...the guilt of feeling like I could have prevented it...the tears start to flow again and the guilt overcomes me.

Sometimes I just wish I could push fast forward and see Brian's language develop so I could know whether or not we have made a good decision. I want him to stay a baby as long as possible, but a part of me wants to know what the future holds for him. Will he speak and understand normally? Will he do well in school? Will he struggle in loud situations? Will he persevere and push to beat this horrible thing that has happened to him?

A family member somewhat-recently accused me to worrying too much about Brian's disability and not just "dealing with it." This family member has a perfectly normal child, and could not possibly understand what our lives have been like the past 17 months. However, this statement has been weighing heavily on me. Oh how I wish I could just stop worrying. I wish I could have one day where I didn't think about his hearing, or his language development. But so far, no luck.

I know that in the grand scheme of things hearing loss is not the end of the world. We have friends who have children with much more severe disabilities than hearing loss. We are blessed to have a happy, generally healthy, intelligent child. My head knows all of this. Could someone please make my heart understand?

P.S.

The phone works!!! YAY!!!!

Oh, What a Day!

Brian's surgery went off without a hitch. He was crabby this morning while we awaited the procedure, but who wouldn't be if they weren't allowed to eat or drink and they had the hiccups? The actual operation took about 7 minutes, which was good because I was not a happy camper having to hand off my baby to a bunch of people I don't know.

Our day should have been good, given the fact that our son had a successful surgery. However, it was not.

This morning when we arrived at the hospital, we realized that the bag Shawn had packed containing our distractions (my netbook, a Parent's Magazine, a library book and Shawn's DS) and Brian's bottle, had a little problem. Brian's bottle had exploded in it's soft cooler and leaked all over the other contents of the bag. The only things we saved were the netbook and the library book. Everything else went in the trash including the bottle and my netbook case. GRRR!

Then upon arriving home with my still somewhat sedated and cranky child, I attempted to use the restroom while holding the flailing 1 year old. After doing so I stood to attempt to pull up my pants and PLUNK into the toilet went my cell phone which had been resting in my pocket during our trip to Children's. GREAT. I quickly grabbed the phone out of my own PEE and rinsed it a bit (it was ALREADY wet and I really didn't want it to smell like pee if it still worked). As of right now it doesn't work. It's drying on in pieces on a towel on the kitchen table. Pray for me that the dumb thing works once dry. I really don't want to buy a new phone. Even if the old one does smell like pee.

ANYWAY, if you were expecting a call letting you know that Brian was okay, I'M SORRY! However, I know few phone numbers by heart and my phone is not giving them up at this point in time. Plus, I spent the several hours after the phone saga on the couch with my very tired baby sleeping on top of me.

Brian is now downstairs playing with his Daddy. He is back to his normal, climbing self. Thank you for all of the prayers and thoughts today! Please, please pray for my phone now :)

The Babysitters

On Saturday Shawn and I went to the Celebrate Event for the free pharmacy my mom runs. Brian's Great Aunt Bibber and Great Uncle Billy were the babysitters. Billy enjoyed watching Brian watch football as much as Brian enjoyed watching it.
After bath time Aunt Bibber left Brian with Uncle Billy so she could get his night time snack and bottle ready. She heard them jabbering for awhile and then she realized they weren't talking any longer, so she called into the front room to make sure Billy still had Brian. He didn't. So, Bibber went looking for Brian. This is how she found him.
I guess he didn't think bath time was over :)

Friends

Brian met a new friend this week and got to play with his bff Bradley. On Tuesday we met sweet little Layla Nagavi-Brian's future wife ;) She is just beautiful! Brian was way more interested in her big brother Frankie, but I LOVED seeing this precious baby girl! Here's a picture to show the size difference in size between a 2 month old and my 16 month old.


Then on Friday Brian got to play for awhile with Bradley at the preschool. These boys are SO CUTE together! As soon as they see one another they immediately reach out to grab hands and they get huge grins on their faces. Steph, Bradley's mom says that if she asks Brad if he wants to go see Brian he claps and gets all excited. I have never seen kids so young enjoy each other so much.

Tubes Update

Brian's tube surgery has been scheduled. He will have the procedure on Tuesday at 10:30a.m. He has a pre-op physical on Monday at 3:30p.m. We decided to take the first available date. We just weren't comfortable with any chance of a language delay due to the fluid and wanted it resolved ASAP. Your prayers would be appreciated :) Even though it's a simple procedure, it's still surgery and they still have to put him out for a bit. Hopefully we will have no issues, the tubes will start doing their job and Brian Thomas will get some relief!

Tubes

We went to the ENT yesterday and after listening to his take on tubes along with the opinions of our audiologist, our pediatrician and my Aunt Sarah, we have decided to go ahead and have the surgery to put tubes in Brian's ears.

Brian has a lot of fluid in his ears and with his hearing loss, he really doesn't need anything else impairing his hearing. The surgery is quite routine and only takes about 15 minutes. They will use gas to put him out, so no IV! After, he may be tired and cranky, but should not feel any pain.

The fluid could explain all of the low grade fevers and the tugging at his ears. I am hopeful that this is the case because we can fix it!

I am currently playing the waiting game trying to get this scheduled, but we are hoping to have it done while we are both off for two weeks in December. I will post the surgery date when I know it.

Many Blessings

Every since I started my new job-especially during the chaos that occurred as I began-my coworker and new friend Jeanne has been telling me that it's all worth it because of the "many blessings" that would come to my family through my working for a church.

I came across one of those blessings as Brian and I passed through the church on the way back from the office today. My 16 month old child BOWED as we passed the altar. He has seen me do this every time I approach the altar. He has seen Father Jeff do the same. So it really should be no surprise that my little mimic has picked up on this. But come on?! How many 16 month olds know how to do this? We are truly blessed.

Little Red Rocker

When Brian unsuccessfully tried to sit on Shawn's FEET this evening while watching football on TV, we realized he might like a chair upstairs that was his size. So, I ran downstairs and grabbed the little red rocker. It was my Mom's red rocker, my red rocker, Jon's red rocker and now Brian's red rocker. He enjoyed the rocker quite a bit tonight. He's just a regular American guy I guess. He just wants to sit in his chair and watch FOOTBALL!

Halloween Part 2

Trick or treat was cut a bit short for me as I was hit hard with a lovely stomach virus about half way through. Brian had fun though with his pal Addison, her mommy Melissa, Auntie Lauren, Daddy and Nana. He enjoyed giving candy to Addison much more than receiving it himself! Here's our little golfer and his friend the bat :)