Freedom

This 4th of July, I struggled a bit. It all turned out okay in the end, but I was pretty frustrated for awhile. I just couldn't stop thinking about how it was a day to celebrate freedom and our freedom was so limited because of a bad doctor.

When we arrived at the fireworks (actually on the 3rd in Chicago where we were), our family's friends had set up a nice area where we were all going to sit. Except there were speakers playing music. Loud music. So, of course, we couldn't sit there. Mom, Shawn, B and I had to move away from our family and their friends. This was the responsible thing to do. Why expose a child with hearing loss to loud music when you don't have to?

Then as the fireworks started, we had to move again. This time to the car. Even though we were WAY far back, the booms were much too loud.

When we first had to move, I said to my aunt, "I'm sorry, this is our reality." And it is. We have to do what is best for B and we do it at all cost. But for a moment, (actually about an hour) I was really upset about the fact that we have to do something different because someone else messed up. That's a lot to swallow.

Luckily B didn't mind, or even know we were moving to protect his hearing. I never want him to think it's his fault that we can do something, or have to do it differently because of him. He certainly can't help that this happened and I don't want him to feel the sadness and anger that I feel. I have felt enough of it for him over the past 2 years.