Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Good Byes Are Never Easy

Especially when you are pregnant! I have been crying off and on all morning. The family that I babysit for has decided their kids are too old to need me anymore. It didn't happen exactly that way. I asked. So it's my fault. And, really it's a good thing because on Monday I get to start watching Max after school. And Max needs me.

Recently I have been going over to where I sit to just sit most days. All of the kids are driving and they are overly involved in activities (as most high school kids are), so I barely even see them. I was feeling really guilty about this. I didn't want them to think they had to keep employing me out of obligation. Plus I knew that Max was there waiting in the background. And that he needed me.

I'm still really sad though. I taught the daughter (now a senior) 4th and 5th grade. I taught the boys 5th too. And I have worked for them after school since the boys were in 7th. So we have a long history. And I adore them. And so does Brian.

But everyone grows up. And all good things must come to and end. It doesn't make it hurt any less though. Especially when you are dealing with pregnancy hormones.

I have two days left. Two days to figure out how to say goodbye.

And yes, I realize how dramatic that sounds. I realize we will visit. But I will never be a part of their day to day life ever again. And that will be hard.

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