A Decade Ago

A decade ago I was a freshman in college. I was just getting settled into my second semester at UK and the basketball team was still riding on the coattails of the Rick Pitino Era. I had made the terrible mistake of living with a very close friend and was regretting this decision. My Mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer and I was going home most weekends to help. I was with Shawn, of course, and we had been dating for a little over 2 years. My brother Jon was in Junior High!

Now, ten years later, life has changed in so many ways, but some things are still very much the same. I am a stay at home mom. I have an 8 month old! Shawn is still around and we've been married almost SEVEN years :) We have a crazy shih-tzu who makes us laugh often. Jon is married, in Grad school and has a new puppy of his own. I don't talk to that roommate anymore, except when I occasionally run into her at her place of work. Sad. But, I've made lots of new friends who are a huge part of my life; and I've managed to keep up with many of my "old" friends too. They are also still a huge part of my life.

Another person who is a huge part of my life, my Mom, celebrated a huge milestone in February. 10 YEARS CANCER FREE!!! This weekend we had a small dinner party with family and friends who were a huge help to our family during the time in our lives. Neighbors and friends who sent cards, cooked meals, brought pajamas, and drove my brother to countless sporting events. At this dinner we commemorated Mom's accomplishment, and thanked those people who came showed such support for Mom and our family. Here are some pictures from the party.

7 Month Pictures

Brian is 8 months old today! The 7 month pictures are posted in my Snapfish account. Click the link below if you want to see them. Hopefully this will work better than the link on the left!

http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=284824935/a=137989217_137989217/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=meijer

FEBRUARY 29, 2009

The above date doesn't really exist, since this year isn't a leap year. It's strange because it's the anniversary of my Grandmother's death. Not that that's something to celebrate, but it seems weird to have no date to commemorate it. I remember my mom quipping that she told Grandma in hospice, "Mom, if you hurry up and do this, we'll only have to remember it every four years." Mom wasn't being mean, she was just pointing out a way for Grandma to make things easier on all of us. As it turns out, Grandma (and God) decided to grant this request.

Grandma wasn't one for making things easy on anyone in her later years. She suffered from bipolar disorder, and her states of mania and depression were long and complicated during the last few years of her life. It was because of this that we moved her here, to Northern Kentucky, where we could help to manage her swings. Even though she made things complicated on more than one occasion, I will always be grateful that we moved her here. We were given extra time with her that we never would have had living 7 hours away.

I was in my second trimester of my pregnancy when it became apparent that Grandma wasn't going to be around to see Brian Thomas. We always knew her kidneys would fail eventually due to the harsh medications she was on to manage her illness. I don't think any of us were prepared for how quickly it happened, but I'm sure we would all agree that we're glad she went quickly and relatively painlessly. She was in hospice a little less than a week.

I'm one of those people who has accepted death as a part of life, so I try not to get overly emotional when it happens. Being so far along in my pregnancy, I wanted to avoid being upset, for the baby's sake. Aside from the minor incident in the downtown parking garage, I did pretty well with this. I did think a lot about the things I would miss about Grandma. And, now, as the anniversary of her death approaches, or doesn't rather, I thought I would post about those things...the things I wish Brian could have known about his Great-Grandma. She knew he was coming and had even seen the ultra sound pictures. I know she would have loved him as completely as she loved me.

Here are the things I want Brian to know about his Great-Grandma:

*She LOVED animals just like he does. She loved them so much in fact that she fed the outdoor ones daily. I remember watching the raccoons she fed on my many visits growing up. And many of you are familiar with the "shoe" story!

*She could make anything magical. One time when I visited she was so excited to show me the new bridge that had been constructed in their trailer park. I felt like I was crossing over into Terabithia by the time I finally saw it because of her amazing ability to make anything seem special.

*She toasted crackers to "freshen" them. Brian will probably never get to eat Grandma's crackers from the orange tupperware container she used to keep hers in, but he'll certainly get to try the crackers made by his own Mom. I have the "recipe" memorized!

*She always read to me. My favorite was "Mumpsy Goes to Kindergarten." It's still at their apartment, waiting for me to bring home for Brian. I've already read it to him and even though I don't read it as well as Grandma, I'll be carrying on that tradition with him.

*She always kept a flashlight by her bed, and she made sure any visitors had one too. It was her way of making sure everyone felt safe before bedtime.

*She was very, very vain about her hair! I remember her pinning her hair every night when I was young. When she got older, she started going to the beauty parlor weekly to have her hair "set" and permed bi-monthly. She went to my stylist, Becki, and absolutely loved her. Becki was quite entertained by Grandma as well! I'll never forget my role in the funeral preparations. Who knew I would have to ask my hair stylist to style Grandma's hair one last time? Weird!

*She always smelled wonderful. It was the pink soap that she used. She used it because she loved it, but she always kept an extra bar around for my visits because she knew how much I loved pink.

*She loved her husband more than anything in the world. The two of them together were the picture of adorable. She lit up around him when she was well. Brian knows what it's like to love Grandad in that way. He lights up when Grandad walks into a room just like Grandma used to.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. I loved my Grandma and even though she's missed here on earth, I know she's in a place where mental illness doesn't exist, and where she can watch over her family and keep us safe. Brian Thomas didn't get to know him Great-Grandma, but he will always know about her.

Two Cases to Crack

We have had two mysterious things happen over the past few days...

Case #1, we'll call it "The Curious Case of the Random 'No,'" started on Thursday I believe. Brian has been shaking his head "no" at random times and for no apparent reason. He doesn't know the to say "no" yet, and even if he did, this shaking is not connected to questions, or things he doesn't want to do, so he's definitely not responding with the word "no." He first did it on Thursday in the car when the sun was shining in his face. This, I assumed, was his way of getting the sun out of his face. David, one of the Banta kids, reported it and thought it was hilarious. Brian continued this behavior on Friday when I was tutoring. I was singing the "Shake Your Booty Song" while holding him, and he started shaking his head back and forth. Again, I thought it was cute, and didn't think much more about it. However, by Friday night, he was doing it more often, and at totally random and unexplainable times. For instance, at Target, he started shaking his head back and forth in the cart while we were walking through the store. This, Shawn pointed out to him, didn't help the fact that people already assume he's "special" because of the helmet. Given that Brian is 8 months old (TODAY ACTUALLY!), this reasoning did not stop him from playing his new game.

Shawn's statement made me suddenly nervous about the behavior. As the weekend went on, Brian continued to shake his head sporadically. So, I called my Aunt Sarah who's a pediatrician and asked her advice. She said to have his eyes and ears checked, and to consult with the physical therapist. I sent the PT an email right away, and made an appointment at our pediatrician's office for Monday (yesterday) morning.

The pediatrician checked his ears, eyes, nose, throat and breathing and there were no issues-a relief. The PT called me on Monday (she's WONDERFUL) and told me that she has seen kids move their heads more, and in weird ways while undergoing PT for torticolis. She thinks it's because they are so much more aware of their head and neck since we are constantly messing with them to do the stretches and exercises. This made sense to me, so I feel much better about Brian's new behavior. Both cautioned to not call attention to it, or laugh about it, as Brian may pick up on this and continue to do it as a result!

Case #2, we are calling "The Case of the Missing Poo." Yesterday morning, Brian pushed out a small little poo while eating breakfast. For anyone who has witnessed him eating, this is not uncommon. It seems that if something goes in, something must also come out! Anyway, I cleaned the oatmeal off of his face when he had finished eating, and took him to the changing table to change the diaper. Brian's poo is quite ball-like at the moment, and would you believe the little turd rolled out of the diaper and over the back of the changing table before I could stop it?! Well, I swear it did! Anyway, what are you going to do, right? So I cleaned up his little tushie, put a new diaper on, and put him in the crib so I could begin searching for the poo.

I began by extending my arm toward the back of the changing table from the front and running it all along the back wall. No poo, but I did find some very large dust bunnies. Next, I tried moving the dresser to look. I couldn't find it anywhere! The dresser/changing table is pretty heavy, so this task had taken a lot out of me. I began to think maybe I was just crazy and I had imagined it. So, I checked the freshly changed trashcan and inside of the diaper to see if maybe I had disposed of the poo without realizing it. Nope! At this point, I figured, it wouldn't hurt to just wait to continue my search until Shawn got home and could completely move the dresser to help me look. So, I sent him an email explaining the little problem. Can you believe he didn't even respond? I mean, really, if your signifgant other wrote you an email telling you they had lost poo, would you not at least wrote back some sarcastic comment?

Anyway, when Shawn got home, we reconvened the search, this time armed with flashlights. Even with a helper and flashlights, we never did find the poo! So, this case is, for now, unsolved. Any thoughts on where it might have gone? Our best bets are on Ruben's belly. Yum!

Helmet Update

We headed back to Clifton this past Wednesday for another helmet adjustment since the red spot on Brian's forehead had returned. Thankfully, the orthotist cut a huge chunk out of the foam in the front of the helmet and the problem seems to be solved. I had a freak out moment on Thursday when a new spot appeared on the side of his head (and stuck around for awhile), but it has since disappeared. This means I did NOT have to drive to Clifton this morning, which made me very happy!

Brian has been sleeping well in the helmet since Tuesday night-more good news!

And, possibly, the most exciting news of all...I have lifted the picture ban. As much as I hate the thing, Brian doesn't mind it, and he really does look cute in it. Plus, today he hit a milestone! He can stand while holding onto things! I noticed this today when he was playing with his Leapfrog Musical Table. He refuses to sit in his red rocker while playing with this toy anymore, he wants to stand. This is great, except that it usually means I have to stand or sit behind him and hold him up the entire time he plays. The table is wonderful, but it's much more entertaining for Brian than it is for me!

Anyway, today I didn't even both with the chair, I just put him next to the table in a standing position. He seemed pretty stable, so I let go. He has stood in this manner for a second or two before without toppling, but today he was able to do it for at least 10 seconds before tumbling over. Long enough for me to get some pictures, so, I just had to! And then I took a few more of him smiling in the helmet since I'd already broken my rule...

Happy weekend!

My Sweet Valentine

It's a few days late, but Brian and Addison finally had their Valentine's Day play date! Here are the adorable pictures.

"See Addison, I'm a big boy! Look how I handle my drill."


"Come here stud muffin."


"I'm ready for my Valentine's Day kiss."

"What?! We weren't doing anything!"

Trying to Crawl

Brian is trying SO HARD to crawl these days. He's getting really strong through his arms (likely due to all of the PT exercises on the fitness ball). For those, he has lay on his belly and push up on his arms while looking to the left. Anyway, with this extra strength and new found confidence, he's been spending a lot of time on his belly. He's got the pushing up on his arms part down pat and can get up on his knees from time to time (especially if there is something to push his feet against and hold him in place). However, since most of the time he's pushing with his arms only, he can't get forward motion so he ends up scooting backward on his belly. He can make it across an entire room in this fashion and gets quite angry when he realizes he's much farther away from whatever he was trying to get to in the first place. It's pretty funny. Here are some pictures of him attempting to crawl. Notice Shawn's legs are keeping his feet in place so he won't slide backward.

Trouble With the Helmet

It's kind of a bummer that Brian adjusted so well to the helmet and now he can't wear it. Remember the spot from last weekend? Well it got worse with all of the helmet wear last week and on Thursday night developed a small blister. I called the Brace Shop first thing Friday morning per their instructions, but the can't get us back in until Wednesday at 8:30! The receptionist told me to keep it off all day Friday and put it back on Saturday (1 hour one, 1 off all day) and see how he did. However, the spot was still pretty red, so I decided to leave it off all day Saturday too. Today we put it back on for an hour, and the spot is red again, so it certainly seems like the helmet is going to need an adjustment. Blah. As much as I dislike the thing, I really just want the three months to be over with. If it keeps causing red spots, and the Brace Shop keeps taking forever to get us in, he'll be lucky to get his three months before his first Birthday. And I can't even describe how much it already stinks, so you can only imagine how lovely it will smell if we get into May and June. Grrr!! I am so frustrated!

Puppy Love

For those of you who don't already know, my son is in love with my shih-tzu. I first noticed this one day when Lauren was visiting. Brian broke into uncontrollable tears for no apparent reason. After checking him for signs of hunger, wetness, pain, sleepiness, etc., we finally deduced that the crying had been a result of Ruben ignoring him. Brian had been sitting on the floor in his room trying with all of his might to get to Ruben, or at least to get Ruben's attention. However, no amount of cooing would persuade my stubborn-ass dog to pay attention to the poor child.

This puppy love has continued since that day. Brian thinks Ruben is hysterical. Rather than being afraid of Ruben's barks, Brian laughs uncontrollably whenever he hears the shrill sound. And if Brian is lucky enough to be within reachable range WATCH OUT RUBEN because Brian has grabbed of Ruben's tail quicker than you can say ruff!

All of this is pretty sad considering that Ruben wants nothing to do with Brian. Ruben has adjusted to Brian being in the house in that he keeps a safe distance, and basically ignores the baby whenever possible. He is still not over the fact that he's not my only baby anymore. It's so bad that we've even tossed around the idea of getting a puppy so that Brian will have a dog that actually pays attention to him to play with. This is most likely NOT going to happen :)

Since Brian has this unwavering affection for Ruben, I decided it would be to my benefit to use Ruben as my assistant when doing physical therapy exercises with Brian. Since Brian's neck is tight, we have to encourage him to look to the left as often as possible. He even has to lay on the exercise ball and practice pushing up on his arms while looking to the left. So, I make it a point to position Brian so that he has to look to the left to see Ruben in any situation. Ruben enjoys this because he gets played with more often as my usual tactic for keeping Ruben to Brian's left is to throw a toy to Brian's left over and over again.

Some dogs are trained to be seeing eye dogs. My shih-tzu is a physical therapy dog! Here's a picture from last night of Ruben assisting. He's looking up at the ball I am holding over his head. Thanks to Lauren for getting this shot!

Big Weekend!

We had a big weekend at the Borchardt house. Not really, but I'm exhausted and it sure feels like it. Let's start with Saturday morning...

All three Borchardt's got up early because Brian and I were meeting a friend at First Watch for breakfast. Brian and I got ready and were out the door before 9a.m. We waited at First Watch for about 15 minutes before calling said friend to see if she was going to make it. I knew she had been through a really tough week, and figured she might have forgotten. She had. She felt SO bad about it, but it was really no big deal. These things happen :) Anyway, we hope to see her soon.

I intended to just leave a small tip for my water and the server's wasted time, but decided to call Shawn and see if he wanted to join us. Turns out, he did! So, Brian and I waited about 10 minutes for Daddy to arrive and in that 10 minutes Brian's mood turned from cheerful and fun to cranky and NO FUN AT ALL! By the time Shawn arrived, I was stressed and Brian was far from his happy, normal self. I took Brian to the ladies room to feed him while Shawn ordered thinking a full belly might change his mood. No dice. I ended up back in the ladies room with Brian after a quick trip out to the table to tell Shawn to go ahead and eat without me. The only time Brian didn't cry during the next 20 minutes was when I let him play in the water faucet!

Shawn finished his meal and then ended up taking Brian on home while I ate my breakfast alone. Kind of a bummer, but honestly after enduring a crying baby for 45 minutes, it was nice to be on my own! Shawn told me later that he cried all the way home and once home calmed down considerably. Once he was calm, Brian let out a big belch and quickly fell asleep. THANK GOD! By the way, when he woke up, he was back to his normal, happy self! Oh, and the waitress got a $10 tip for putting up with us!

Sometime after the breakfast ordeal, Shawn decided we needed to overhaul the house. Yes, I repeat, Shawn decided we needed to clean! Brian has taken over our hearts, but in addition to that, he's taken over our house as well. We had boxes of his old toys and clothes overflowing from his closet, and the rest of the house was full of piles of paper and other junk that needed to be gone through. Our pantry was a wreck (we just kept pushing things deeper to fit the new things-like baby food) and our fridge wasn't much better! So, we called in Nana Rosana to take Brian Thomas out for awhile and we decluttered our home. It looks much better now! Today I even managed to mop the kitchen, hallway and front room AND vacuum all carpeted areas so that the grime and muck from our recent snow storms are no longer plaguing my floors!

Saturday night the big weekend continued. We met up with Nana, Pappy and Brian at Panera for dinner. Kate Young joined us too :) After dinner we went to Borders where Brian got two books (one from Mommy and one from Kate). Then we headed over to Starbucks to meet up with the Klaenes, Jennie Cole, and the Manns. The Manns have a daughter who is about a month and half younger than Brian, the beautiful Addison Rose. Brian is already betrothed to her. Melissa and Adam got some cute pictures of the kids together, as well as one of Addison and Jennie where Jennie is wearing Brian's hat. They are posted below. Brian and Addison got along famously until Brian tried to eat her hand. He comes on a little strong ;)



Oh, and if you're wondering about the red spot on Brian's head, and the lack of a helmet, these two things go together. The spot appeared on Saturday after he had worn the helmet for 8 hours straight-the longest amount of time thus far. The instructions from the Brace Shop state that if any redness appears and sticks around for more than a half hour, the helmet should not be worn until the child is seen by the Orthotist. So, no helmet for Brian until tomorrow at 1:30. This was our regular appointment time as they want you to come back for a check 1 week after the initial fitting. So that's our adventure for tomorrow! Wish us luck :)

Side notes

A few side notes...

First, P.S. He is sleeping in the helmet right now! He happened to fall asleep in it before it was time to remove it and I'm not waking him! So I guess I have nothing to worry about now. He's so good at reassuring his Mommy!

Second, anyone ever wondered what breast milk tastes like? Well, you can ask Whitney if you can catch her before she leaves on her Australian adventure! Last night Brian refused to eat his oatmeal, so Whitney decided she would eat it. That is until Shawn pointed out that it's made with my breast milk! Well, on a dare, she tried it anyway. Sometimes I'm not so sure about that girl ;) Just kidding, I love her to death. We are going to miss her so much while she's way, but we're so glad she's exploring the world (and the reef) while she's young and has the opportunity. Love you, Whit!

Third, another "white death" is upon us. My wish for no more snow is a previous post is not coming true. We're supposed to be getting 2 inches an hour today. Yikes!

Bring on the Helmet!

I am sure many of you are wondering how it went yesterday at the Brace Shop. Let me start with our morning. Brian had PT at 8 a.m. This meant I had to wake him up, which he's okay about when it happens, but very cranky about as the day progresses. Due to this, he was a bit cranky at PT, instead of being all smiles like last week. Elizabeth, the PT, says he's doing really well though! His left turn radius (chin to shoulder) was 60% last week and is now 80%, which is considered all the way. She said it's due to all of our work at home! Anyway, we only have to go back every two weeks since we did our homework, which is nice. We got 2 more exercises to do 5 times daily (for 5 minutes each). Both are on the exercise ball, which Brian thinks is pretty entertaining! So now we are up to 4 exercises 5 times a day. 2 take 30 seconds a piece if he cooperates, and the other two take 5 minutes each.

After PT, we headed home for a much needed nap (for both of us, I didn't sleep much Sunday night). We both slept for about 30 minutes (not nearly enough time) before heading out to the Brace Shop. Now, I am sure I sound cynical when I say that many people whose kids need these caps, are in the situation because they are crappy parents who leave their kids lay all day long. I might sound cynical, but it's purely an observation based on the waiting room yesterday, which was very depressing and made me feel like a crappy parent just from being in the company of the others. One of the crappy parents made me even more nervous by telling me that Brian would hate the helmet and cry all the time. Just to justify my crappy parent comments, this particular woman had a 2 year old, 10 month old (in helmet) and a baby in NICU that had only made it to 26 weeks. She reeked of smoke and so did the man with her. The father of the 10 month old was definitely not the father of the 2 year old and the mom was kind of slow to be honest. This may all seem mean to say, but I am still upset about how upset she managed to get me before Brian and I headed in to get his helmet.

Anyway, we finally headed in to the helmet fitting room and Greg, the orthotist, gave me some instructions and then went to work on the helmet. The helmets come in with tiny ear holes, so the orthotist has to adjust it by making marks with a crayon and then going somewhere to cut it. So, he put in on Brian's head, made marks, took it off, and disappeared for awhile. Brian did not seem to care about this initial encounter. Greg had to adjust it a second time, and then he put the helmet on for good (or for an hour really because the first day it's an hour on, an hour off all day long). Again, Brian didn't seem to care. After asking all of my questions, we were out the door with the helmet on.

Then we got in the car. Now remember, Brian isn't the best traveler on earth. He was also very tired and hungry and with the sun coming in the back window, his new helmet was very hot. I made the mistake of trusting our GPS to get me home and we were in the car about 20 minutes longer than necessary because of that mistake. I still don't know if the GPS chick got me lost, or if I did it myself by not being able to hear hear over the screaming child in the backseat. Either way, we were pretty lost. And, yes, there was a screaming child in my backseat. He cried the entire way home :(

So needless to say I was tired, hungry and well over the edge by the time we arrived at the house. Brian wasn't much better! However, once inside, I put him down to play with his toys, and he was just fine. Smiley and normal. He ate his lunch (sweet potatoes-his favorite) without any fuss, and then it was time to take the helmet off.

The day went on pretty much as normal-except that I was taking the helmet on and off Brian's head every hour. Brian was just fine. He smiled at any people we saw, and they smiled back. He played and slept and ate, all like normal. I'm really not sure he even noticed he had the helmet on. Today, I'm happy to report, has been much of the same. (Today by the way is 2 hours on, 1 hour off all day long). I'm so glad I have a calm, happy and cool kid! He keeps Mommy sane :)

The new cap requires a little more work on my part. It has to be washed daily, as does his head to cut down on stinkiness. Apparently he will be sweating quite a bit at least for the first 2 weeks, so keeping it clean is key. For the next several days I have to keep a schedule (on for some amount of time, then off for some amount of time). Also, we have to go back to the Orthotist on Monday to have it checked and then every 3 weeks as long as he has it. However, overall, it hasn't been as bad as it could have been. Now, he hasn't had to sleep in it yet, so I'll let you know how that goes! Wish me luck!!

Last Time

Often with Brian I find myself thinking, "this will be the last time..." For example, every time he starts to outgrow a clothing size (which notably is much quicker for Brian than it might be for another child), I think...this will be the last time he wears this outfit...when ever I'm dressing him. If it's an outfit I'm particularly fond of, I tend to get a little teary eyed. Shawn has just learned to accept this about me. I've never been a fan of endings. I cry at the end of every book-even if it's not sad-just because it's ending.

So today it was no surprise to Shawn when I insisted that Brian wear his Palmer jersey for the "last time" given it's Super Bowl Sunday. I also insisted that I wear my Houshmandzadeh jersey for the last time. Brian will outgrow his jersey by next season, and Housh, a free agent, will likely not be with the Bengals. Shawn even gave in when I insisted he wear his Bengals shirt-just so we would all match.

With the snow and ice last week, we didn't make to the Brace Shop to pick up the molding cap on Wednesday as planned. So tonight is the eve of three months of helmet wearing for Brian. Given that his head will be otherwise occupied once we retrieve the helmet, today was also likely the "last time" he will wear his newsie hat from Granddad. So, as you might imagine, he wore it more often than he needed to today! I LOVE that hat.

I persuaded Shawn to take some pictures to chronicle these "lasts." Going along with my melancholy theme for the day, we took the pictures in front of Brian's first Christmas tree, which is in my parents front yard. This is likely the last time he will be about the same size as the tree with snow on the ground. We're hoping the tree will grow big and strong and be much larger than him next winter! (And yes, this is hopeful thinking on my part in a way. I'm DONE with snow for the winter!) We also took pictures in front of my parents Christmas tree. It's the last time he'll see it up this year. He will miss the lights. He really loves them. Per tradition, Mom will be taking it down now that Super Bowl Sunday has come and (almost) gone.

I know all of these lasts are really the beginning of firsts for Brian. Outgrowing one size of clothing, means we're onto a new size and the first time he'll wear the many outfits his Nana has purchased in that size. The end of the Palmer onesie just means that we'll have to buy him a big boy jersey for next season-another first. And, the end of helmet free life just gets us one step closer to the first time it's off for good, and he has a rounder, more normal head shape. Still, the "lasts" are a little bittersweet for Mommy.